Dear Donny
It might seem a bit formal to write to you like this, but I need you to know that this time I really am leaving you. We’ve talked about this for ages but now it’s time to make it official. Our marriage is over.
I respect you a great deal and I hope to go on having the same positive relationship with you once I’ve left. We have, after all, been together for over 40 years and it has been in many ways a good marriage, but really, I can’t stand having to make joint decisions about stuff – I really just want to go my own way and I believe I have that right. It’s not that all our joint decisions were bad; indeed I am going to keep all those important changes that we made together. The kids won’t have to complain that I have abandoned all our joint ideas about how the household is run fairly, how we keep everyone safe and healthy and all that, and at least not at first. I don't want any sudden changes, but I will increase the kids chores and decrease their pocket money any time I like when it's just me in charge. We’ll just go on as before, except that we’ll close that joint bank account for our household expenses because frankly, I’d rather pay my own way even though we’ll be worse off. And anyway, I used to hate it when you insisted we buy the kids new shoes and then there was nothing left for my weekend break at the spa.
I’m keeping the children. We’ve sat and discussed this as a family and reached a majority decision to leave you. Of course Roisin and Hector are kicking up a fuzz as usual and don’t seem to understand that I’m doing all this for them, as well as our other seven children., especially now they are all grown up and contributing handsomely to the household expenses.
I will keep the house and the farm, so please arrange to remove your belongings from it as soon as possible. You can take Jurek and Kolek the farm hands with you – it was you that hired them and it really annoys me when they speak Polish to each other. I hate the smell of their food, and I’m sure I’ll find someone else to go out on frozen winter mornings to pull up the leeks.
I’ll expect to be able to negotiate a very generous financial settlement with you. Frankly, if you are not willing to agree what I decide then all co-operation is off – I know some very nasty people and I will have no hesitation in telling them where you live.
Yours sincerely
Tessa
P.S. Hector is kicking up the most unseemly row and choosing this time to say he’d rather go and live with you. He even has the impertinence to remind me that I haven’t always been his mum. Honestly, now is not the right time to be making decisions like that. I simply can’t afford to do without the money he brings in from all those little business he has running in the attic. For heaven’s sake, tell him that if he wants to live with you he will have to go through a whole lengthy adoption procedure.
It might seem a bit formal to write to you like this, but I need you to know that this time I really am leaving you. We’ve talked about this for ages but now it’s time to make it official. Our marriage is over.
I respect you a great deal and I hope to go on having the same positive relationship with you once I’ve left. We have, after all, been together for over 40 years and it has been in many ways a good marriage, but really, I can’t stand having to make joint decisions about stuff – I really just want to go my own way and I believe I have that right. It’s not that all our joint decisions were bad; indeed I am going to keep all those important changes that we made together. The kids won’t have to complain that I have abandoned all our joint ideas about how the household is run fairly, how we keep everyone safe and healthy and all that, and at least not at first. I don't want any sudden changes, but I will increase the kids chores and decrease their pocket money any time I like when it's just me in charge. We’ll just go on as before, except that we’ll close that joint bank account for our household expenses because frankly, I’d rather pay my own way even though we’ll be worse off. And anyway, I used to hate it when you insisted we buy the kids new shoes and then there was nothing left for my weekend break at the spa.
I’m keeping the children. We’ve sat and discussed this as a family and reached a majority decision to leave you. Of course Roisin and Hector are kicking up a fuzz as usual and don’t seem to understand that I’m doing all this for them, as well as our other seven children., especially now they are all grown up and contributing handsomely to the household expenses.
I will keep the house and the farm, so please arrange to remove your belongings from it as soon as possible. You can take Jurek and Kolek the farm hands with you – it was you that hired them and it really annoys me when they speak Polish to each other. I hate the smell of their food, and I’m sure I’ll find someone else to go out on frozen winter mornings to pull up the leeks.
I’ll expect to be able to negotiate a very generous financial settlement with you. Frankly, if you are not willing to agree what I decide then all co-operation is off – I know some very nasty people and I will have no hesitation in telling them where you live.
Yours sincerely
Tessa
P.S. Hector is kicking up the most unseemly row and choosing this time to say he’d rather go and live with you. He even has the impertinence to remind me that I haven’t always been his mum. Honestly, now is not the right time to be making decisions like that. I simply can’t afford to do without the money he brings in from all those little business he has running in the attic. For heaven’s sake, tell him that if he wants to live with you he will have to go through a whole lengthy adoption procedure.