*I like Rabbi Sacks and I think he talks a lot of sense, but I was a bit bothered by the short video clip taken from a recent interview where he was asked if believing in democracy meant Brexit must be delivered, what ever the cost. He replied:
‘I think being parent means trusting your children even if you are sure they are getting it wrong.’
His reply included a brilliant defence of democracy, but this statement really niggled me, not least because of the outcry I keep hearing that democracy will be forever broken if Brexit is not delivered.
It’s risky taking an analogy too far, but gentle readers will perhaps bear with me while I play around with the parent and child example for a moment.* The reason human children are parented for much longer than the children of other mammals is that guidance is required while the child learns to navigate a very complex human world. The child who has a temper tantrum because she want a pony has still got a lot to learn.
She doesn’t realise the family will be bankrupt if they buy a pony – the mortgage won’t be paid and the car will have to be sold, making her parents tense and worried.
She doesn’t know that don’t just buy a pony; you have to stable it, groom it, provide grazing, pay veterinary bills and insurance, and exercise it regularly.
She’ll probably refuse to accept that that her interest in the pony is likely to last nothing like as long as the pony’s life.
Right now, she feels that only having a pony is going to make her happy. It’s unlikely she can yet articulate what it is she really wants; his parents showing a real interest in his life and spending more time with him.
The wise parent will listen to the request and let the child know that if it were sensible and possible, the pony would be bought, but will also explain why it can’t be done. The wise parent will realise the temper tantrum is not naughtiness, but an expression of an unmet need for much more basic but worthwhile and longer lasting gifts.
And if that’s not a metaphor for Brexit…
* Critics will complain that it's patronising to think of the electorate as children, but my point is that in 2016, most of us, including politicians, had no idea what it really entailed.
‘I think being parent means trusting your children even if you are sure they are getting it wrong.’
His reply included a brilliant defence of democracy, but this statement really niggled me, not least because of the outcry I keep hearing that democracy will be forever broken if Brexit is not delivered.
It’s risky taking an analogy too far, but gentle readers will perhaps bear with me while I play around with the parent and child example for a moment.* The reason human children are parented for much longer than the children of other mammals is that guidance is required while the child learns to navigate a very complex human world. The child who has a temper tantrum because she want a pony has still got a lot to learn.
She doesn’t realise the family will be bankrupt if they buy a pony – the mortgage won’t be paid and the car will have to be sold, making her parents tense and worried.
She doesn’t know that don’t just buy a pony; you have to stable it, groom it, provide grazing, pay veterinary bills and insurance, and exercise it regularly.
She’ll probably refuse to accept that that her interest in the pony is likely to last nothing like as long as the pony’s life.
Right now, she feels that only having a pony is going to make her happy. It’s unlikely she can yet articulate what it is she really wants; his parents showing a real interest in his life and spending more time with him.
The wise parent will listen to the request and let the child know that if it were sensible and possible, the pony would be bought, but will also explain why it can’t be done. The wise parent will realise the temper tantrum is not naughtiness, but an expression of an unmet need for much more basic but worthwhile and longer lasting gifts.
And if that’s not a metaphor for Brexit…
* Critics will complain that it's patronising to think of the electorate as children, but my point is that in 2016, most of us, including politicians, had no idea what it really entailed.